Blogoff Post: Shenanigans

This is a post for the Blogoff with this week's topic Shenanigans. Each week we post on a one-word topic and then rank each other's posts. So far, I have avoided the cull. But how long can it last?

Shenanigans? Let me think back. Mmm, yes, I remember shenanigans and it looks like I have a photographic proof that I used to get up to shenanigans.

with faces whited out to protect the innocent.

yes, I used to be a party girl. Erotica parties above, white trash parties below.

Rubik's Cube parties where everyone came dressed in six different colours and had to swap clothes until they were wearing the one colour.

I was a party girl.

Then there was the time in Adelaide when we placed an ad in the paper, hired a pub and threw our own singles party. Or when I got up in a room of 100 people and announced I was going to write a book called Getting Laid in Adelaide, and I needed to research it.

There was plenty of shenanigans when I was a pizza delivery driver. Friday and Saturday nights were our peak nights and going to work was like going to a party. We'd send the new drivers out to a very special address without warning them first that the walls were red velvet-lined, and the menu had more sexual positions than we had pizza toppings. They would come back bug-eyed from their first pizza delivery to the brothel. And then just for fun, we would give them a jalapeno to taste.

We'd stuff pizza dough in people's exhaust pipes and for the first anniversary of the store we ordered a special delivery for the two male bosses: a stripper!

Shenangigans indeed! I have 25,000 words of a novel already based on those wild pizza days. Let's just say that job gave me my education in sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll.

So when did the shenanigans stop and reality set in?

Somewhere along the line, I settled down. I stopped partying. I became committed (or maybe should have been committed). I started dealing with bills on a scarily regular basis. I moved away from my home, away from my family and away from my friends. Now when I go to a party, it's usually a sedate, mild affair with a bit of booze, rarely any drugs, and lots of philisophical conversation. Rarely any shenanigans.

I remember my father's 40th birthday party like it was yesterday. His beetroot-faced embarrassment at the strip-o-gram. And then I remember that I'm turning 40 this year. I find it hard to believe. But then again, maybe not so.

I wonder if there'll be a stripper?

Maybe it's time for some shenanigans.

Blog-Off Number 3: PRIVACY

Blog-off Post Number 3 - We are blogging to raise money for the 3 Day Walk for Breast Cancer, with the blog-off initiated by Courtney of Five Second Dance Party. All the participants are in my special blog-roll on my sidebar and I have enjoyed reading their posts to date.Each week we have a one-word topic to blog about, and then we vote for each other's posts. The person with the least number of votes is eliminated from the competition and the blog-off continues. Last week, we said goodbye Yellow and Orange . This week?

Everyone is entitled to privacy. Including Nicole and Keith. Paris? Maybe not.

I don't know about you but my life isn't so vacuous and empty that I have to hang onto every image and rumour that the gossip magazines can churn out on a weekly basis. Why is celebrity such a commodity? Why do we need pictures of film star’s private vacations? Why do we need blurry out of range shots taken surreptitiously by wedding guests instead of the official released photographs? And who asked the glossy mags to pay stars exclusive rights for their honeymoon photos?

I’d hate to be a celebrity. Who made the price of fame forfeiting privacy? When you decide that you want to be a great actor, do you also decide that you want every minute that you step out in public photographed, reproduced in millions of magazines across the globe, dissected by a hungry public?

Even celebrities are entitled to privacy. They may be public figures, but this does not mean that we are entitled to own them, to stalk them every moment that they are in public.

In the golden years of Hollywood, the stars' public appearances were carefully stage managed and orchestrated by the studios to present the best public image. Today’s celebrities don’t know where the paparazzi may be lurking, or if Joe Citizen may decide to snap them with his hot new mobile phone camera and email the photos to a tabloid.

I no longer actively support the gossip magazine industry. Although I need magazines to create my collage poems, I buy them second-hand, compensating the poor sucker who paid full price for them. The stories are ludicrous and I’m not sure anyone with a shred of integrity can write the stories unless they are deluded to the truth. I’ve lost count of the number of times that Nicole has been pregnant (article complete with baby bump photos) since she married Keith, and the number of times have Angelina and Brad’s relationship has been on the rocks.

I’m pleased that my teenage dreams of being an actress did not come true. I’m happy that I can visit the supermarket without having to slap on the full dash of make-up for fear my face may be plastered over a magazine. I’m happy that I can live my life without feeling that I’m living inside a goldfish bowl. I’m happy that I have my privacy.

On my Chickollage blog, I have set myself a challenge of creating a collage poem every day for a year. So today's collage poem is an illustration of the above article.

March was a write-off (pardon the pun)

Okay, March is over and I failed Nanoedmo badly. March was not the month for me to commit to 50 hours of editing. No way! March, and probably only March, was the month that I had a life! Writing retreats, book launches and the usual work, work, work.

However, this week I'm on holidays so this week I will be tackling the editing again.

I have also introduced my writers' group to Club 100, writing a minimum of 100 words a day for 100 days, so that needs to be fitted into my day as well. And then I decided that the 100 word challenge is not a huge challenge for me at all - I do that most days without thinking about it. So I have also challenged myself to create a collage poem every day for a year, starting April 1st. (and it wasn't an April Fool's joke, I just needed a definitive date to start and I didn't want to wait another month). Each day the collage poem will be posted on my Chickollage blog. (There will be a break over Easter while I'm away, but I will still create the collage poems, and post them when I get back to my internet connection)

Here is one I prepared earlier:

Copyright 2006 Diane Curran

I love hanging out with writers. They speak a different language to the ordinary non-creative person. They understand the excitement of creativity. They understand what it means to be in the zone. They know what you mean when you say that the character took on a life of their own and did something completely unexpected.



On Friday evening I attended a book launch for a friend's book of poetry, aptly called Poet Tree. It was a good turn-out and I was able to speak to one of the judges of the short story competition in which I won second prize and reveal myself as the author of Beyond Happily Ever After. So we chatted about how the story came about and where I'm going with my writing. And I became the evening's official photographer, but I was using my film SLR (my digital is sucking the life out of the batteries as soon as I put them in, or maybe the batteries are not recharging properly) so it will be a few days before I have photos, as I need to finish off the film.



Now I'm doing my homework for the writers' group (and that is a rare occurrence, I'm usually too busy writing other stuff). The homework is the 'Writer's Journey' so I am writing about my own journey as a writer so far. Will post to the blog when it is finished.

Police - Blogoff Round 2

"Open up! It's the pi-igs!"

One of my favourite episodes of The Young Ones is Cash, when Rik, Mike and Vyvyan make hippie Neil get a job to support the household, so he becomes a policeman complete with baton and walkie talkie. He is called to bust a party at his friends' house and the scene where he knocks on the door, calling out 'Open up! It's the pi-igs!' and then half-heartedly raids the place, while warning his friends to flush their stash still makes me giggle now.



I had a run in with the police when I was nineteen. I jumped into the neighbour's pool at nine o'clock on a sultry summer evening and the sticky beaks across the road called the cops. I had permission to used the pool while my neighbours were away. But I guess that permission did not extend to my numerous friends at night. So the police turned up and asked us to vacate the pool but my then-boyfriend (who was much older) gave them a bit of lip, so they asked him for i.d and gave him the third degree.



It's funy how portrayals of police on television can influence your expectations. One evening I was home alone when I saw the police walking up my driveway. My partner was away interstate, so I immeicatly thought the worst -- that the police were coming to inform me that he'd had an accident. But no -- they were looking for the guy who lived next door, because he'd been up to no good. I was more relieved to know that my partner was okay than to worry about living next door to a potential fugitive.



One night I was delivering pizzas, and was pulled over for a breath test.
'Have you had a drink today?' asked the young constable.
'I'm working,' I replied. 'I don't drink while I'm working. What about you?'
(hah, I was a bit cheeky in my youth)
'No, I don't,' he said, and promptly breathalysed himself to prove it.
'Now it's your turn,' he said, after he replaced the pipe.
Lucky I was telling the truth!

This is Round 2 of the Blog-off organised by Courtney of Five Second Dance Party. Last week, we sadly saw Super Duper Fantastic and Motivated Motion eliminated. If you would like to make a donation to the cause, click on the link.

The MP3 Oracle

I found this one surfing Blog Explosion at Gritoland.

Turn your MP3 or Ipod on. Choose all your music and turn the player on random. (I don't know about you, but I always have my MP3 on random). Press forward to each question and use the song title to answer each question with your own comments added.

So this is my MP3 oracle:

1.How are you feeling today?
I need a Man - (Eurythmics)
Whoah!

2. Will you get far in life?
I Can't Stand the Way he says your name. (Chris Wilson)
Mmm, maybe not if I'm going to be jealous and judgemental.

3. How do your friends see you?
What about Me? - (Moving Pictures)
It isn't Fair, I've had enough now I want my share! Um, selfish bunch, aren't they?

4.Will you get married?
Whispering Your Name - (Alison Moyet)

No, I don't quite get the connection. Why would I be whispering? I thought we were supposed to speak vows. Not whisper.

5. What is your best friend’s theme song?
Face in the Mirror ....tells me I'm doing fine (Chris Wilson)


6. What is the story of your life?
What's Going On - (4 Non Blondes)

Yeah, this is pretty apt. I'm always wondering what's going on.

7. What was high school like?
Sweet Incarnadine - (Jane Siberry)
???????????
'the open sesame of a kiss' - although that wasn't with a high school guy

8.How can you get ahead in life?
Love Games - (bluehouse)

Playing love games didn't really get me ahead in life. It just brought me heartache so I think I'll pass on that bit of advice and draw a rune or a tarot card instead.

9.What is the best thing about your friends?
Magic - (Olivia Newton John)
...have to believe...

10. What is in store for this weekend?
Last Name - bluehouse
'By the way, I forgot to ask your last name. '
No, I don't think a one-night stand with a stranger is on the agenda but then again, number one was 'I need a man'!

11. To describe your grandparents?
Emptiness - (bluehouse) so much for shuffle)

Perhaps because all my grandparents have passed away.
'Maybe a good cry is all I really need. The emptiness of needing you.'

12. How is your life going?
The Angel and the Madman (Moving Pictures)
Angelic but crazy?

13. What song will they play at your funeral?
Bow River - (Cold Chisel)
Maybe Bow River is heaven.

14. How does the world see you?
Physical (Olivia)
Definitely not, I'm not an exercise person.
This is just getting silly now.

15. Will you have a happy life?
Desperado...waiting on a tram. (Chris Wilson)
I could be waiting for a long time, there are no trams here.

16. What do your friends really think of you?
Janelle (cold chisel)
what they think my name is Janelle? I've been called lots of names, not Janelle.

17. Do people secretly lust after you?
Hymn to Her (Pretenders)
- well they must then. "Let me inside you!'

18. How can I make myself happy?
(how come we changed to the first person????)
Bustin' Loose - Moving Pictures

So I should get stoned, drink, go all the way, be a crazy poet and a beauty queen? Maybe there's other ways to bust loose

19. What should you do with your life?
I Carry you with me (Heather Nova)

Carry who? Can't you walk?

20. Will you ever have children?
I believe (Marcelle Detroit)....not...


21. What song would you strip to?
Out of My mind (marcelle Detroit)
Um, it's a bit slow, but I suppose a slow strip could work.

22. If a man in a van offered you candy, what would you do?
I Want it All (Eurythmics)
Me, greedy? Never! But maybe it's a Cadbury van!

23. What does your mum think of you?
Janelle (cold chisel)
WTF? My mother thinks I'm Janelle too? is there something someone hasn't told me? am I adopted? And why does my MP3 repeat a song within 7 songs??????

24. What is your deep dark secret?
Brand New Day (Eurythmics)
Maybe my deep dark secret is my love of the Eurythmics???
'I won't be sad. I won't be destroyed.'

25. What is your mortal enemy’s theme song?
Some Girls (Racey)

!!!! 26. What’s your personality like?
When Tomorrow Comes (Eurythmics)
Okay, I've been busted. I'm a procrastinator. Like Scarlett O'Hara, I'll think about it tomorrow. Is this what this song is trying to tell me?

27. Which song will be played at your wedding?
Hymn to Her (again???)


So that's the oracle. It's fun playing, although I think I'd like to change some of the questions. Get a bit more specific, maybe adapt a tarot spread - the 12 house astrological spread could work well. I shall give it some thought.

And as for the song to be played at the wedding, the next song that played after 'Hymn to Her' was 'Shoot out at the Seven Eleven'. I guess that must be the honeymoon. I better cancel the wedding!

So if you choose to play the MP3 Oracle, leave a link in the comments so I can read your oracle. Have fun!

Finally a day at home

Much as I love going away with my friends from the Writers Group, it was such a pleasure to spend the day at home today. It's the first day at home I've had for two weeks. Much needed. And appreciated. I watched The Chronicles of Narnia, Love My Way (why oh why did Foxtel decide to rush through the season by screening double episodes), scanned photos and updated blogs.

But now I have five days of work and then I'm off for ten days straight including the Easter break. The first five days will be spent at home, then a couple of days will be spent with dad over easter, and then another day at home. I'm looking forward to some solid editing time over those five days.n bbbbm bbbbbb (if you're wondering about the sanity of that last sentence - it's a statement from Dorkus the cat as he walked across the keyboard. He doesn't like me going away either so I'll whisper about the plans for Easter.)

I've spent the last week at work throwing out lots of stuff. I can't believe how much I'd managed to accumulate over 7 years. But as of Monday, I'm a virtual person with no permanent desk. All my Egyptian artefacts went home. All my photos, my Nanowrimo winners certificates, the pics of me and Alex from Moving Pictures, the flower calendar from last year which was no longer functional but looked pretty, the magazines I'd been cutting up, all have migrated home. And then I culled all the information, brochures, training material so that I could fit everything into one chest of drawers. It's going to be strange not having my own desk, and moving every week or so as I need to.

On Friday evening I went to a farewell for a work friend who is moving to Brisbane. Sometimes, it feels that my workplace is a transit lounge, there are so many people moving on, sometimes within the organisation and others out of the organisation. I've lost count of the number of people that I've bid farewell to over the years.

Speaking of bidding farewell, we are saying farewell to Motivated Motion and Super Duper Fantastic in the blog-off as they had the lowest points after all the votes were tallied. I found writing my piece easy but ranking every one else's contribution was excrutiating and I'm sure it will get harder as we get more into the competition. Personally, I wouldn't mind if we all kept writing for 16 weeks and had no winner, and just donated the whole lot of the money to Breast Cancer. But that's probably just me. The next topic is 'Police' and I have no idea what I will be writing for that one.

And it seems that I haven't had any visits from people looking for porn sites since my Blog-off post. I'm sure they'll be around some time, they just haven't linked the terms together as yet.

Laughter - Blogoff Post # 1

My mother knew how to laugh. Big belly laughs that could rock a whole row of cinema seats. Her chuckles were like a minor earthquake, measuring on the Richter scale.

I miss my mother so much. I miss her wicked sense of humour, her smile and her laugh. I'm ashamed that I was so embarrassed by her as a teenager because now I can think of no happier sound than my mother's laughter. Mum enjoyed and loved life, and wanted to share that enjoyment with everyone: check-out chicks, the neighbours she bumped into down the street, the cats, the dogs, the cockatoo and especially her family.

Mum didn't learn to drive until I was 13 years old. But once she gained her licence and her independence, there was no holding her back. She loved driving, deliberately weaving or kangaroo hopping down a quiet street - just for fun - and she relished the opportuniity to get lost, take the long way round and discover new places along the way.

Driving gave her the opportunity to try new things. She took up cooking classes and prepared culinary banquests in several cuisines. She took oil painting lessons for a few years but she found her talent in cake decorating, churning out wedding cakes, christening cakes, cakes for any occasion.

For Dad's 50th birthday, she made a pick-up truck cake with a 'load of hot cock' because that was one of his favourite sayings at the time. The tray was filled with chocolate penises, and a pair symbolised the wipers. The sight of the cake was a catalyst of laughter for the party guests and this photo is a permanent reminder of my mum's wicked sense of humour.


So now in my first blog-off post for boobs, I've mentioned breasts and hot cocks, so I guess I'll get a few hits from the raincoat brigade. So while you're here, gentlemen, show your appreciation for the female body and follow the link to make a donation for breast cancer research!

The Blog Off starts tomorrow

I'm back from the retreat and the result of taking my SLR camera means that I hardly took any digital photos. So posting of photos willl have to wait.

We had a fabulous, relaxing and creative weekend. The weather was stunning on Friday and Saturday, although overcast on Sunday morning. Maggie had a visit from a ghost named Fred on Friday night and swapped cottages the next night. We ended up with eight more 'Pass-the-Stories', I read my first monologue for the Monologue Project, and we exercised our writing muscles in all three workshops.

We wrote a five page letter to Jen, who is pining for us in Melbourne, and after telling her in the letter that I had not taken any collage stuff (words nor magazines) to the retreat, I discovered an envelope of words in the side pocket of my suitcase. They have been in there since my trip to Adelaide. And so I made Jen a collage to accompany the letter. It is always incredible in collage poetry that the perfect words are available at just the right time. Will post this to the blog early next week.

In the meantime, the Blog-off is about to start, and I have blogrolled all the participants on my sidebar. The first topic is LAUGHTER and the blog post will be up on Wednesday. As this is a fundraiser for breast cancer, I have used the first topic as a catalyst to write about my mother, who fought hard and long against the disease.

I better go - I need to find the photos to accompany the LAUGHTER post.

The Annual Writers Retreat

It's back to the Lighthouse tomorrow for our annual Writers Retreat. (well, at least I hope the fact that this is Number 2 means that it will be an annual event!)

We had such a great time last year! I've been looking forward to this weekend for a long time. The scenery is gorgeous, the company is superb, and I don't have to drive too far to make my escape! (2 hours each way)

Although all these shots from last year were taken with my trusty little Kodak Easyshare digital, I'm taking the film SLR camera as well this time. I'm hoping I can get some more shots like this friendly kookaburra, and some great landscapes. Much as I love the instant gratification of the digital, the shutter takes a long time to activate, and sometimes I miss the bit I wanted to shoot. So the Canon SLR is loaded with film, with a couple of spare rolls and I will try and do some nature walks over the weekend and get some special sunrise and sunset shots.

I expect this year's retreat will have a totally different flavour to last year's because it will be a different mix of people. Last year there was me, Carol, Roby, Lisa, Jen, Markus, Rose, Marilyn, Sue S and Sue M.

This year Jen (below) has moved to Melbourne (we will miss you Jen!), Sue M is climbing Everest for the second time (because the first time wasn't enough) and we won't even have a token male to outnumber in our discussions.

Carol, Roby,Lisa and I will still be there but we will be joind by five NEW members of the writers' group which is very exciting. Lisa is cooking an Indian banquet on Saturday night, and we all have to dress up for the occasion and we will have a series of workshops over the weekend including Writing Fiction from Real Life Stories and Writing Life Stories. I will be giving a workshop on using Astrology to write fictional characters.

I'll be back to report on the weekend on Sunday night!

Cinderella wins a prize

Hey! Where did February go?

Oh, that's right - short month! It always throws me off.

I've got good news. It must be official because I received the cheque in the mail yesterday. $150 - 2nd prize in a short story competition. Cinderella has done me proud. But don't think that's the end of it! That was the 1800 w0rd version. The 3000 word plus version is still out there. Cindy's got a mind of her own, as well as her shoe fetish, and she's got her sights set on world domination.

Actually, I'm really glad there was a second prize. There was a time in my life when I was job-hunting and I always coming in as the runner-up. 2nd out of 150 applicants is no comfort when there's only job being offered. Glad that part of my life has passed.

I will be entering another competition - this is a Blog-off organised by Courtney at Five Second Dance Party. It will be a survivor-style competition. Entrants blog on a submitted topic and then vote on the best blog. Least number of votes and you're eliminated from the next round. Funds are being raised for breast cancer. Interested? Then head over to Courtney's blog to get all the details.

I'm getting tired of cooking for one again. So last night, I cooked for 4. 4 Tandoori chicken fillets. I was the envy of everyone in the lunch room today when they could smell my lunch heating up. And guess what I'm having for dinner tonight?

Speaking of Tandoori, we will be having a Indian feast at our writing retreat and the dress code is exotic. So I went looking for my gold snake bracelet, and in the process, I decided to completely empty my jewellery box. Behind the drawers I found jewellery that had become entwined in the music box mechanism including an amber heart from Russia, which I truly thought I had lost years ago. Unfortunately, this search did not also turn up my missing Ab Fab and Being John Malkovich DVD's.

Okay - back to the editing!

Writing Goals and Chocolate

March is going to be a big writing/editing month.

First of all, I've signed up for Nanoedmo to fully edit Diary of the Future. Sure it looks good in the picture above, but I want it to be a great read as well! And it still needs quite a bit of layering, fleshing out the characters and the scenes. The Nanoedmo committment is 50 hours in the month. I can do it, I just need to be disciplined. And I will refer back to One Pass Revision Method, although I'm pretty sure it will need more than one pass.

Next weekend is a Monologue day where our group will meet and discuss the Monologue project, so I need to write a draft of my contribution for next Sunday.



Then we have our annual weekend Writing Retreat to the lighthouse and I'm giving a workshop on using astrology to develop fictional characters. I will have to do an overview of my natal chart, so I've just dug deep into my astrology folders, located my chart and will photocopy it at work tomorrow and make it pretty!


And then the following weekend, I have an AGM to attend, followed by our monthly writers meeting, which clashes with the State Election, so we need to find another venue to meet.


So far this year, I have met most of my writing goals. Short story completed and submitted, essay for groups writing competition completed and submitted (strangely enough about the Blogosphere), initial edit of Diary of the Future completed, formatted and uploaded to lulu.com to receive free copy. I've fallen behind with the next revision of Diary of the Future, but now that I've committed myself to Nanoedmo, I have a goal and a deadline. Besides I have to allow myself some breathing time to read, watch shows, and feed my creativity in other ways.


Now, a question for you....


How do you like your chocolate?


Refrigerated or room temperature?


I like mine at room temperature, especially Caramello. Caramel filling is meant to be gooey not chooey. Trouble is, my chocolate always manages to find its way back into the fridge. Now, I know it doesn't open the door and put itself there. It's my well-meaning partner, freaking out because it might melt, thinking he's doing me a favour. No matter how many times I've told him, that's the way I like my chocolate! Wonder if this little issue has ever led to a divorce?

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So, refrigerated or room temperature? And are you and your partner in conflict over chocolate? Please comment.

Hair today...

Today I broke a lifelong pattern. I went the chop but this time I didn't go all the way.

Usually when I've grown my hair long, I get bored and I react by getting the chop. Which means very short.

Not this time. I still lost about four inches, but my hair is shoulder length again. Not too short, not too long. And hopefully much more manageable.

I joked with the hairdresser that he could sell my hair on ebay, pretend it was Britney's and then we had a discussion about what possessed her to shave it off. Maybe she was tired of being Britney. I could never bring myself to shave my hair off. I don't think I've got the right shaped face and head to carry off bald. But there's some mighty sexy guys out there who look really hot with a shaved head.

I used to be really wild with my hair - different styles, different colours but in my (cough, cough) old age, I've become much more conservative. But maybe the next visit to the hairdresser will change that.

So, it was a day off work. A day to sleep in. Get my hair cut and do some administrative tasks to keep my life rolling along. I think I should have more 'hump' days off. The work week is so less daunting that way. But it's back to work tomorrow. And then only two days to the weekend!

Thank god it's Saturday!

I'm so pleased it's Saturday. I'm not sure how I made it through the week with a bout of hayfever, and fighting off the cold that my beloved wanted to transfer to me.

I had an extremely romantic Valentine's Day - NOT! I worked 12 hours. No nice dinner, just a box of noodles between the day shift and the night shift and not even a card when I got home. Oh well, it's just an excuse to spend money.

So I have spent today in a semi-haze with a migraine threatening like a rain cloud overhead (we've had that too) but hopefully the nurofen will hold it off. I think I just need more sleep. I stayed up late last night and watched Click. Loved the bit where he was adjusting the colour of his face! Tonight I think will be an early night but I might manage an early episode of Melrose Place (now that the DVD has actually arrived).

One of the best-selling concepts in the Chickollage Shop is my caption: 'Erotica Writer seeks Research Assistant. Apply Within.' and I've sold badges, fridge magnets and t-shirts with this caption. If you have bought one of these items, please stop by and let me know what has happened when you have worn it! I'm not sure if I should wear it myself seeing as I'm practically married. Would I be accused of false advertising?

Bonsai Story Generator

Nanowrimo can lead you to some interesting places on the net. Yesterday it took me to the Bonsai Story Generator, a website that will mangle your story in only a couple of seconds, but somehow retain some (and I emphasise some) sense.

So I decided to stick my Cinderella story into the generator and see what it spat out.

Here are some of the resulting sentences:

Her life was no dictator.

(but I bet hubby is!)

He had a post-it note, and the kingdom.

(useful!)

Snow married her fairy godmother, but Cindy often felt the blood rush to her husband that she would only so much He shook a napkin out of rehab to beat her palm.

(well, that's where one would usually get a napkin, isn't it?)

A ménage a problem.

(usually turns into a problem the morning after)

An erotic fantasy of colourful footwear.

(many women's fantasy)

The slipper had a genetic right to have a velvet lined, gold encrusted shoe box.

(of course!)

Dirty socks on a short red silk cocktail dress, and fame made.

(I think this one has Monica Lewinsky undertones)

This program appears to try and keep verbs and nouns in order to make some kind of sense, but it's interesting the odd combination of words. Enough to set off another bout of creativity. Hmm, I don't remember Snow White marrying the fairy godmother!

The Perfect Man - Carribean Women's Blue T-shirt

Speaking of creativity, the folks at Cafepress have added a heap of new t-shirt styles and colours and I've added them to the existing designs at the Chickollage shop. We now have women's shirts in carribean blue, red, violet along with light colours, white and dark v-necks and much more.

New Beginnings - Women's Violet T-shirt

Drop into the shop and have a browse!

Legendary Punk Poet T-shirt

Relapsing & the Cinderella summary

I have a confession. I have relapsed.

Just one, I thought it'd be alright. Well, that turned into one a day. Then two a day. And now I've bought a bottle home.

Shame!

Does anyone know of a Cokeaholic meeting I can attend because that brown liquid is enticing me again?

So today, my father tells me to have an energy drink instead, it'd pick me up. I thought he was talking about Gatorade. But no, he was talking about Guarana. So I bought a bottle, and then looked at the contents. More sugar than Coke, and a high caffeine rating - not sure how that compares because Coke doesn't reveal it's caffeine levels. So tonight I'm drinking water.

I'm a bit miffed that my next Quickflix DVD's didn't arrive in time for the weekend. Why can't Australia Post be quicker? I was looking forward to having a guilty Melrose Place marathon tomorrow night, and watching Click with my partner when he arrives home on Sunday. But now they won't arrive until Monday, and I probably won't have time during the week to watch them. So in absence of trash TV, I will watch quality Australian drama instead - LOVE MY WAY. Let me think, twenty to thirty somethings who drink a lot and sleep with each other and have extremely mixed up relationships - not much difference really! Just the accent.

Last weekend I watched Confetti, the weirdest wedding competition movie - that was fun - and Transamerica - powerful stuff, I can see why Felicity Huffman won the Golden Globe for her portrayal of Bree.

I started reading my lulu copy of Diary of the Future. It is amazing how having it in book format changes my perspective and makes editing so much easier. So it will undergo another edit, some formatting of the collage poetry inside, and hopefully some more poems added, reformatting of the layout, so it doesn't take up so many pages, and resizing the backcover so it appears more symmetrical. Even my father's impressed with what I've achieved so far and with this concrete form of visualisation, I know that I'm on the way to achieving my goals.

I'm bored with cooking for one. It's 8.30 and I'm not really hungry because I ate some dips and biscuits earlier, but I suppose I'll have to eat something tonight. Maybe some more snacky foods - give in to my ongoing olive craving.

Last night, I was browsing the Nanowrimo forums and came across the Auto summarize feature in Microsoft Word (in the Tools menu). So here's the 10 sentence summary of my Cinderella short story (as determined by Microsoft):

Snow White giggled.
‘Snow White and Henry are expecting,’ Cindy told her husband.
Damn the prince and his royal traditions!
Can one prince be enough for our Snow White?
Cinderella placed her hand on Snow White’s stomach.
‘Henry, it’s Cinderella.
‘Cindy, come in.
‘Oh, Cindy.’

‘Cheeky!’ smiled Snow White.
‘Still two princes!

Can anyone guess the plot from these ten random sentences?

Diary of the Future - the novel

Finally, Saturday comes around at the end of a very busy week. But I did achieve a lot this week.

I added another 1200 words to the Cinderella story and sent it off to the short story competition. I'm very happy with the way it turned out. Perhaps I may fracture some more fairy tales in the future.

I received my free lulu.com copy of Diary of the Future, and it looks great. I did have a few uploading issues and formatting issues as I mentioned in my previous post, but all this has resulted in is an extra blank page between some of the chapters. As this is my motivational copy and editorial copy, it really doesn't matter. So it's on to reading the novel with fresh eyes - hopefully, as a critical and discerning reader. Sorry, I can't post a pic of the actual book at this stage because my partner has borrowed my digital camera for the week and he is many miles away.

I passed the book around at work, and at drinks after work yesterday. A physical book makes more sense to many of my co-workers than 200 A4 pages. A book looks like a finished product (believe me it's not) - 200 pages looks like it will never end. So now it's on to revising, summarising, querying and submitting. A whole new adventure.

Oh, and I also got new tyres on my car this morning. What a difference brand new tyres make!

My Saturday

What a day! Minding my business, driving to my writer's meeting, I had a tyre blowout. Of course it happened on a bad stretch of the highway with very little room to pull over. And my shoulder has been hurting for the last couple of days, so I couldn't even lift the spare tyre out of the boot. Luckily for me, a knight in shining armour stopped, helped me nurse the car up the road to a stopping bay, and helped me change the tyre. It's one thing to know the theory, but another to have to do it, especially when you don't have the strength.

So I spent last night doing some calculations on how much I need to spend on my car to get it back up to scratch as my registration is due at the end of next month. Time to get a loan application in but still the cost is very good considering I'm driving a 25 year old car and have had no mechanical repairs required. The costs have all been or will be for tyres and cosmetics. The car should be good for at least another couple of years once I get a new bonnet on it, and a paint job.

The writer's group meeting was really good and inspiring. Five new members - a great start to the new year. And I read my Cinderella story and received good feedback. Encouraged by this, I finished the extended version (i.e over 3000 words instead of 1800 words) today so that I can mail it to the competition this week. Somehow in the melee of yesterday I lost the entry form, so when I get to work tomorrow, I'll send out an emergency email to see if anyone can provide me with the relevant magazine.

L to R: Diane, Jennifer, Carrolline, Roby, Sue

This photo was taken at the farewell luncheon for Jennifer (second from the left). Jen was our president but has now moved to Melbourne so Carrolline has stepped up to the plate to become president.

We also did a 10 minute writing exercise in which we had to include all of the following words: luckily, cultural, eggplant, client and overhead. It's amazing the different ideas that people came up with.



Here's mine:



Sheila trudged through her market garden to her prize eggplants. She eyed them with pride. Surely she'd be in with a chance to knock Hilda McGeachin off her pedestal with these beauties. Bloody Hilda, if she wasn't taking out gold cups and blue ribbons with her steroid-filled tomatoes, she was boasting about the circumference of her zucchinis or the purple hue of her aubergine.

Overhead the clouds grumbled as a rainstorm threatened. Luckily, Sheila had finished her chores for the day, and could take refuge inside with a nice cup of tea. But she'd pull the shade cloth over the stakes just in case. She hadn't been doing a raindance half an hour earlier. No way - she'd been dancing up a hail storm to fall down on Hilda's crop just as she was ready to harvest.

She smiled to herself as the hail stones plonked on her tin roof. That would put a big dent on Hilda's plans to dominate the only cultural event in town. And the tea tasted damn good -- a new herbal mix from her newest massage client. Bit of a looker he was too, could have had some Apache Indian in him. Something like that. She owed him a massage on the house for that hail dance lesson.

I borrowed the character of Hilda McGeachin from Bilby Creek, the setting of Making the Cut.

I have also come up with a few ideas for a monologue. Finally! As this is our big group project, I didn't want to let everyone down by not coming up with something. So I will let my subconscious toss it around a while longer before I start to write.

The house is quiet again. Not so much fighting over the internet or the remote because the teenager has gone back home to the big smoke. (Hee, hee - it's back to school on Tuesday) Here she is avoiding the camera (delayed shutters can be a real pain sometimes) and securely attached to her mobile phone. The contraption will have to be surgically removed one day.

Hanging out at the carnival

I had a few hours to kill in town the other night so I wandered down to the Jetty and took some photos of the Carnival.

I've never been one for wild rides, but it was interesting watching other people on the rides. The expressions change as the ride moved faster or in an unexpected direction.

In this photo on the left hand side, the monster's hand is between the two exit doors. He kept poking his head out to entice the kids to enter The Temple of Doom. It was great watching the little's kids faces when they came out of the ride. So many young kids I noticed at the carnival were covering their ears, blocking out the loud music and loudspeakers. And I've noticed this reaction with young kids in my own family. So I wonder when they reach the point that loud noise is suddenly okay for their eardrums, and they stick earphones right in their ear, and turn the music up to '11'.

Diary of the Future is now uploaded to lulu.com so I can have a copy to stick on my bookshelf and inspire me to finish the editing and send it to a publisher. The editing isn't done as yet. So much other stuff going on, including training for the new role at work -which I'm going to love. But I managed a copy edit so there should at least be no typo's left in the book. Things like typing 'head in his pocket' instead of 'hand in his pocket' and 'chickout check' instead of 'check out chick.' I still want to rewrite the beginning of the story to change how Nicky acquires the diary.

It took until 2.30 in the morning to upload it all to lulu.com - I probably should not have converted the document to a PDF myself, because it kept reformating it to a larger size, meaning the text was going to be smaller when I changed it back on the lulu site to novel size. And then the cover took 20 minutes to upload by itself. Meanwhile, my eyes were falling out of my head, and I was wondering how I was going to function at work the next day. But I perservered and went to bed at 2.30am, knowing it was done.

I've been receiving great feedback on the Cinderella story, so I'm pumping it up with another 1200 words to bring it to the 3000 word minimum for a major short story comp which is closing at the beginning of February. Cinderella now has a major shoe fetish - wonder where she developed that?

We watched Candy last night with Heath Ledger and Abbie Cornish. It was interesting seeing the movie after hearing Luke Davies talking about it at the Byron Bay Writers Festival. And I can't imagine how long it took to set up the scene where Candy writes her story all over the walls of the house.

I'm also catching up with the second season of Love My Way. But today I need to do some writing/editing.

Why do the weekends go so fast?

Diary of the Future cover

The editing is happening, although not as fast as I would like. By 3pm yesterday afternoon, I was exhausted (post Nano, post holiday exhaustion perhaps), I laid down and woke up three hours later. Then this morning I slept in again. Guess I needed the extra sleep.

I have designed the cover for the lulu copy. I'm not going to be releasing the book for sale. At this point, the lulu copy is just for my bookshelf to inspire me. A real novel with my name on it. Goal: a real novel with my name on it and a major publisher's insignia on the spine.

I had been looking at diaries on ebay, but a lot of the more unusual diaries looked a bit on the evil side and I didn't want Nicky's diary to be that obvious. So I ditched the sculpted diaries with monsters, dragons and pentagrams and pulled out a trusted journal from my collection, added the 'bag of words' that Nicky refers to in the story, scissors, pen and a glue stick, and matched the title font to the gold on the 'diary'. I love digital cameras, and photoshop - so cool.

I added a back cover blurb and there you have it: a cover for my 'novel'.

Now to finish editing the stuff that will go in between the covers.

Another fog

Saturday morning and another fog.

So as promised, I got up early (7.30 is early for me on a Saturday morning), hopped in my car, and took some photos of the valley.

Can someone remind the weatherman that this is summer?

It's the 6th January, I live on the East Coast of Australia - it's supposed to be hot.

Now its time for me to get off the net and do some editing.

Finally, the weekend arrives

Why is it that the four days at work following a public holiday seem to go longer than any five day week? Yes, I've been hanging out for the weekend. And finally it is here.

The work week had its ups and downs. The up was a request for me to take on a new role, something I have been working towards for a while, so that was very welcome news. The downs - well, the usual downs that occur in working in a bureaucracy with fixed ways of working. Enough said. It's the weekend and I enter a fantasy world for the duration.

I wish I'd had my camera on the way to work this morning. The fog was incredible, low lying in the valley, a thick blanket covering all the trees. Beautiful! But what the -? We're supposed to be in the middle of summer!
If I wake up tomorrow and it's the same, I'll go out and take pictures. But judging by the weather this afternoon, I doubt we'll have another fog in the morning.

So I've been in a bit of dilemma the last few days. My original plan was to edit Making the Cut and polish up for submission. But as I'm working on Diary of the Future in preparation for the Nanowrimo winner offer from lulu.com, I'm thinking that perhaps I should concentrate my energy on that. So that's now the plan. And I'll be spending my weekend immersed in the landscape of Diary, editing, rewriting, preparing a cover. I need to make the most of the weekend as my partner is away so I won't have any interruptions. Plus he's bringing his 16 year old sister back for the remainder of the school holidays - she can be my beta reader as she is the same age as the main character.

So my draft copy is printing now. 196 pages. I don't know how many scenes that will be but I'm ready to immerse myself into Nicky's world.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year Comment Graphics

So, it's 2007 and I'm awake.

A quiet celebration last night. Dinner at the local pub. Listening to a local singer. And then home in time to watch the fireworks on Sydney Harbour on television.

No New Year resolutions. They will only be broken and forgotten.

Seriously, I think the last time I wrote down resolutions on New Years Day was 1984. And the final one was 'to expand my horizons, form new friendships, renew old and precious friendships and have a completely fulfilling, rewarding and successful year in everything I do...'

Ah! The idealism of youth.

The dreams of a 16 year old.

And I must add, that for the previous resolutions written in that diary, I've added 'HA!' in red pen following each of them.

I'm thinking about writing a Things to Do before I'm 40 list. Up the ante on the 'Things to do before I die' because the clock is ticking.

Can you believe it's 2007? No. Neither can I. It seems like only yesterday I was running around in a millenium bug costume, New Year's Eve 1999. Sorry, I don't think I have any photos of the bug moment.

But apparently it's now 2007. The clock is ticking.

So, a few time specific goals for 2007.

By January 16, I will have done a simple edit on Diary of the Future, designed a cover and uploaded to lulu.com to take advantage of the free printed copy.

By January 27, I will have written an essay for my writers' group's annual competition. (I don't really want to hand that trophy back).

By February 28th, I will have completed editing Making the Cut, and sent out a cover letter, synopsis and three chapters to an Australian publisher.

That's enough for now! I can't think beyond the first two months of the year. I need to leave some room in the calendar for new creations, revision and submission and the ongoing updating of the Chickollage shop.

Speaking of Chickollage, we have added the Baby Boutique, which features cute collage designs by Jennifer Gordon on bibs, bodysuits and kid's t-shirts.

And the clock is ticking on the Ransom Notes Collage Poetry 2007 Diary ebay auctions. Less than 24 hours to go: black and green.

Here is a leaf from the diary, an attitude for the New Year, my collage poem, New Beginning.

I hope 2007 will be your Best Year Ever too.