When I was a teenager I really didn't have any.
Poached eggs maybe.
Bumps that completely disappeared when I lied down on my back.
Even the saying 'More than a mouthful is a waste' couldn't make up for the little I had.
But I ate as much as I wanted and couldn't put on weight. And without any extra body fat my tiny little breasts just weren't going to grow, no matter how many arm exercises I did, chanting 'I must, I must improve my bust.'
And when I got out of hospital four weeks after a car accident, having dropped another dress size, I thought there was no chance.
However, the next three months sitting around watching videos, unable to participate in my usual daily activities (e.g running up three flights of steps with two large pizzas and four bottles of coke) and my less frequent activities (sex!) saw my metabolism began to slow down.
The metabolic effect combined with the side effects of contraception and eating more because I was bored had a noticeable effect. I started to grow breasts, much to my delight. Suddenly there was something to push up with a push-up bra. I developed cleavage. I became voluptuous. Not quite Rubenesque but much more cuddly than skin and bones.
But my new voluptous curves were not just confined to my breasts. I had become curvier all over, curvier stomach, bigger thighs. I had meat on my bones. And I felt healthier. Much more healthier than when I was 48 kilos.
Of course the medical profession doesn't agree. I was mortified when I was told by a doctor doing a health check for my work place that I was obese. I don't feel obese. Sure, it might not always be fun shopping for clothes because designers still design for women with the shape of a fifteen year old boy, but I feel confident in my own skin.
But I get the lectures about the health factors, the need for exercise, the risk of diabetes, stroke, heart attack. And I wonder how unfair is the actual process of losing weight. Can someone explain why the first place that a woman tends to lose weight is her breasts? After all this work! And no matter what I do, I can't seem to shift that spare tyre!
Check out the 20 other bloggers competing in Courtney's blogoff in my sidebar. I'm sure they all have a thing or two to say about this week's topic, Breasts. If you'd like to make a donation to Courtney's three day walk for breast cancer, click on the link.
Other bloggers have talked in previous posts about serendipity. I received the word prompt on Tuesday. On Wednesday I got a call at work from a University. I was curious because I've had nothing to do with this university at all. Apparently they've been trying to locate me for a while for a breast cancer study because of the family history. Not quite serendipity, but certainly interesting timing!
Disappointed there's no photos? You want to see them. Tough titties!